First off, I want to thank everyone that came out to support my Winnipeg Fringe Show – Tazzy’s Angels.  Our all female standup showcase, hosted by Big Daddy Tazz was a huge success and we had an amazing time performing to rowdy crowds. We even took the prestigious title of ‘Best of Fest’ – what an exciting honour! It was very cool to be part of an (almost) entire female show – a big change for most of us getting used to being the only female on many open mic bills throughout the year. It felt empowering to celebrate this, and to really recognize our distinct voices in comedy. I found it to be a great experience and I learned a lot.

For more info on our show (in case you’re a lazy jerk who missed it) – visit http://tazzysangels.wordpress.com/ 

Our 4-star CBC review is available here: http://www.cbc.ca/manitoba/features/fringefestival/2010/06/tazzys-angels.html

I’m very honoured to have been asked to co-host this year’s “Winnipeg’s Gone Wacky 2010″ the comedy contest organized by the Winnipeg Free Press and Hot 103. I won the first contest last year – and they want to make it an annual thing which I think is great for the city – the more opportunities the better. I am excited to co-host with Hot 103′s DJ Steve Adams, we have a photo shoot scheduled this Thursday so get ready to see my FACE EVERYWHERE, Winnipeg. Also the contest will be televised this year – more details on that as well as venue and actual date (it’s slated for November) to come as soon as they are confirmed.

November will be an exciting month – as it is also when I will return  to Flin Flon, Manitoba for my very first hometown show. I will be returning with 3 other killah Winnipeg comedians to perform an awesome night of comedy for ‘Ladies Night’ – a fundraiser for the Flin Flon Bombers. The show will be happening Saturday – Nov.13th with ticket details to come. I’m very excited to come home – this has been something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but wanted the time to be right – and to feel confident to take it on.

So just those announcements – when I have more details I will post further.

thanks for your continued support. I’m drunk.

Cara.

I can somewhat understand the public’s interest in celebritie’s lives, moreso their misfortunes (makes us regular folks feel good in some sick way).  But what I just can’t understand is how somehow, somewhere along the way – the general public developed this ‘shock and awe’ towards celebrities in the event that something ‘human’ like death, or cheating, or divorce or eating sandwiches becomes part of their existence (or non-existence if they had too much “fun” and died). As if celebrities have some kind of magic that keeps them above regular humans – they simply aren’t capable of the same level of life bullshit that we have to endure.

Seriously – I think we need to start spreading the word, and letting our friends and family know – celebrities are NOT bionic or in anyway above the ‘shitty shit’ that us minions are also exposed to. Celebrities are not immune from getting cancer, cheating on their partners, getting fat, or dying etc etc etc. I’m so sick of people being SHOCKED and BAFFLED STILL after Michael Jackson kicked the bucket. – “What how could he die – he’s the King of Pop, doesn’t that extend his life at ALL?” No he is STILL a human and treated his body poorly and then he died. And if you cried over MJ dying and you didn’t know him personally or weren’t related to him – I bet money that you’ve never lost anyone close to you. If you are crying over a man you’ve never known, I don’t think you know what it’s like to really lose. Yes – Michael Jackson did a lot for music and inspired people and artists – but guess what, the man hasn’t released an album in ten years. That music that inspires you and makes you wanna ‘dance it up when you are loserpissed at a wedding social – still exists after his death. Don’t worry “Thriller” will still be around for your children.

Or the aftermath of Tiger Woods? “What he has a dick and he fucked other women because when the man comes out of Chili’s the entire staff throws their pussies in his face and asks for a quick night of meaningless sex? HE SAID YES??? But he’s the greatest golfer who ever lived, doesn’t extremely high levels of skill in GOLF make you grow a giant conscious and doesn’t it cancel out your ‘skinny man’ complex that kept you a virgin til college?” NO it doesn’t, the man shits money and can lay a different hot woman every night – and I don’t think it’s right, I just don’t think it’s a SURPRISE.

 Corey Haim – no one gives a shit about this guy since he made one vampire movie in 1981, then he dies and now he’s important to EVERYONE. And the ‘mystery’ of his death MUST be known to the public, seems like people can’t sleep at night until they know how someone could die so young. People die young all the time, people that abuse drugs for their entire adult life – do die from that yes. Who cares if it was an overdose or if it wasn’t. His body gave out – he’s not MAGIC, he’s a person who didn’t take care of himself. He’s dead – sorry if you were tight with Corey Haim.

And now the latest – Sandra Bullock. Yes I know tragic. How could Jesse James former ‘bad boy married to a porn star’ cheat on the adorable Sandra Bullock – AND RIGHT AFTER SHE WON AND OSCAR – booo bad timing Jesse!! Okay this one kinda bothered me too – I admit, not because it was a surprise but because it seems like Sandra Bullock is the type of person who would never even say ‘fuck’ – but I’m sure she has. She’s not perfect and neither is Jesse – clearly. This shit does happen EVEN to couples you think are ‘in love’ based on photo ops and oscar winning speeches. No one knows what goes on in someone’s private relationship - so I just wish everyone would stop trying to CSI this shit and live their own relationship drama. I think certain women really need to open their eyes, Yes Sandra Bullock was cheated on, so was Uma Thurman, and Jennifer Anniston. It’s not about being this beautiful perfect looking concept that makes men not cheat. It doesn’t matter if you are Uma Thurman or if you have fake tits, the ‘perfect body’, or were recently in a billboard campaign for The Gap. Some men cheat and their reasons for doing so have nothing to do with how ‘gorgeous’ their wives are – being ‘celebrity beautiful’ doesn’t exempt a woman from being cheated on or divorced. These women in the spotlight are still women, no magic-no special non-cheating privileges apply. They can still lose a man or kill a man – just like any of us.

I can’t take it anymore – the stupidity is starting to make me have rage blackouts. So please help me spread the word to anyone who will listen, please let the world know: Celebrities are humans, not Magic!

I will be performing in the New Faces Night which is called “The Shock of the New” on Friday, April 9th @ 10:30 pm it will be hosted by Jon Dore with performances from Sam Easton, Chantel Marostica, Arthur Simeon, Jeremy Williamz, David Pryde, and Aaron Berg.

I gotta give props to the other comedians that will be performing this year in the fest, close friends of mine that have really helped me grow as a comedian and have built a supportive and strong community for me to be a part of: Keener, John B. Duff, Dan Robertson and of course my amazing boyfriend Ryan McMahon.

Will blog about this exciting news more – very soon. But first I must celebrate by FINALLY taking off my bathrobe, showering and being in public somewhere, somehow. For more info on the fest visit http://www.winnipegcomedyfestival.com/

-Lyts.

Sorry it’s been so long. Just wanted to give ya’ll some updates.

• I’m honoured to be performing in the Girls! Girls! Girls! Show again this year at the Gas Station Theatre on Sunday, March 14th. Get  your tickets fast this one sells out quickly. This year’s theme is rapture – I’m not really sure what that is, but I promise you I will be bringing my A game of comedy.
• My Jersey Shore nickname is “The Grenade”.
• Don’t miss February’s edition of Comedy Loser (Tuesday, Feb.9th at 9 pm Kingshead Pub) - Phil Cosgrove WILL be making a return appearance. That’s all I’m going to say.
• Stay tuned this week – I will be posting my Standup Comedy Demo.
• Check out my live dates section for constant updates and new shows, including the Cavern on Sundays at 9:30 pm – it’s a killer weekly show you won’t want to miss.

That’s it for now.

Peace out bitches and homies!

My performance as Phil Cosgrove for the December Comedy Loser. Santa is quitting his job, he fucking hates it, click here and find out why and to hear my ‘mystery’ accent. Is it Minnesotan? Boston? Flin Flonnian? or all three?

Happy Holidays, Enjoy!

Sorry I’ve been out of commission for awhile. My Pancreatitis has been making me hungry, grumpy and unable to blog. It’s not infected, it’s inflammed, which means my pancreas is angry and racist. My pancreas hates Jews. I don’t! But my horrible  pancreas has some serious issues. My Pancreas is Emo – okay there I said it. My Pancreas is insisting I paint my fingernails black and start hating everyone’s Dad.

Okay I’ve been promising to get this up for awhile now. It’s my ‘comedy profile’ in the Flin Flon Reminder – I’m proud of this article, Flin Flon is where I’m from and has helped make me who I am today. It was really exciting to be a part of this newspaper – and to have friends and family be able to read about what I’ve been doing in the Winnipeg Comedy Scene. I think Jonathon Naylor is an excellent writer – it’s one of the best pieces written about me. He was awesome at really capturing my voice and telling my story. Hope you enjoy - here is the attached PDF copy of that article.

Reminder Interview

PS I will be performing at The Standard Tavern this Thursday (Dec.15) at 8:30 pm for the Best of Show. Going to be delightful! Then you can catch me performing at the Finals for Winnipeg’s Funniest Person with a Day Job Contest at Rumor’s on Jan.11th. (That’s a Monday). Not in the contest – they don’t allow you to compete after you’ve won, but I am doing a set while the judges deliberate.

Happy Holidays! Don’t get so loserpissed that you puke up Christmas Dinner!

Peace.

Cara

Also recieved a nice mention by this blogger http://www.winnipegfirst.ca/article/2009/11/03/rumors_has_it_comedy_can_be_your_new_day_job

I’m performing tonight at the Standard Tavern – 8:30 $5 (Get there early, this show fills up fast).

-Cara

He even went as far as to post his comments on this Free Press article, followed by my response. “There was clearly a crowd favorite and it wasn’t Cara Lytwyn.” Spelled favourite without the ‘u’, fucking moron.

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/amateur-comics-stifle-their-jitters-vie-for-trophy-63954997.html

Anyways no hard feelings, everyone is entitled to their bullshit uninformed opinions. And so I made this video just for him. “Jonas” I emailed it to him, I hope he likes it. Here it is:

Finally I have a lot of performances this week if you’d like to check out:

Monday, October 26, 8 pm, Kingshead – Headlining Red River College’s Comedy Night (always a fun time but get there early)

Tuesday, October 27, 9 pm, Kingshead – Shitz and Gigglez Standup (I will be trying out some new material ooooh ya!)

Wednesday, October 28 – nap

Thursday, October 29, 7:30 pm, mybar Canad Inns – Safeway Breast Cancer Fundraiser

Thursday, October 29, 9 pm, Saffron’s (on Corydon) – New Comedy Night (also performing Keener, Ryan McMahon, John B. Duff)

Hope to see you out – Support Winnipeg Comedy!

Laugh Loud.

Cara.

Saturday night was the finals for Winnipeg’s Wackiest Comedian, a brand new contest created by the Winnipeg Free Press, Hot 103, and the Canad Inns. It was an exciting night with a lot of incredible talent, for a cause that is close to my heart. I felt very honoured to be a part of an event, which was an amazing opportunity to perform in front of a very energetic crowd and the chance to be critiqued ‘American Idol’ style by Brad Oswald, Ace Burpee, and Big Daddy Tazz. Just to have their feedback alone – made the experiance worth while.

Ace said at one point he actually looked over at Big Daddy Tazz and they both shared the moment of “Did she really just say she may have fucked a Subway sandwich.” haha it was a moment I won’t forget. He then went on to say how sometimes it can be a pussy move when comedians come on stage and discuss how great their kids are – an easy applause, and what a huge risk it is when I come on stage and talk about how  much I hate children and want to kick them etc. But it paid off – it’s funny and I sell it well.  Tazz mentioned that he has watched a lot of amateur female comedy and they often talk about the same female topics, and it was refreshing and original to hear my act which doesn’t touch on any of those topics. I even heard my little brother yell out, “Yes exactly!” Tazz said I’m going places – and after 3 years, that felt good to hear.

Everyone that knows me – knows my feelings about female standups that stereotype themselves into writing only about their need for a man, their periods, having a lot of cats – and my disdain for this redundant train of thought. I’m sick of females being the minority in comedy and enforcing the stereotype that we just can’t be as funny as men – I want women to realize they can write about ANYTHING, *this includes anything men can write about.

I was excited just to be in the finals for the contest, when I was announced as the winner- I was speechless. I actually covered my mouth on stage. It was a surreal moment and I thought back to the time I considered quitting because I couldn’t overcome my nervousness, I thought about all the late night writing marathons, and open mic nights that I put my heart into – and I have to admit, the win felt amazing. And again being the first woman to win Winnipeg’s Funniest Person with a Day Job as the 1 girl in the 9 finalists, and now the 1 of 2 girls in the 10 finalists – I’ve really learned that it comes down to being funny – no matter what sex you are, where you come from, – it’s not about the odds, it’s about the funny.

I also have learned that you have to be true to yourself and to your writing. I thought about changing my set, thought about what the judges would want and that maybe I should remove some of my more risky material such as about waking up in bed with a sandwich, wanting a mustache ride for my birthday, or wanting my kids to know that I will ‘love them forever unless they fuck with my car.’ In the end, with the support of my amazing boyfriend Ryan, and my friends and family – I just believed in myself and in my writing and I did it the way I wanted to – I performed the material I think is funny and I didn’t worry about anything else. Winning being true to yourself is really winning. (that was on an Episode of Degrassi Junior High).I thank everyone for their continued support in my endeavour to make people laugh.

Cheers,

Lytwyn.