Performance at Winnipeg Comedy Festival

I had an amazing time being part of the Winnipeg Comedy Festival last night performing in Shock of the New. Awesome crowd and a sold out show – I couldn’t have asked for more. In case you missed it I’ve uploaded the vid below. I thank everyone that has supported my comedy over these last 3 years and to those who came to cheer me on last night.

Celebrities Are Magic!

Okay I don’t usually rant – but this has been building up for years.

I can somewhat understand the public’s interest in celebritie’s lives, moreso their misfortunes (makes us regular folks feel good in some sick way).  But what I just can’t understand is how somehow, somewhere along the way – the general public developed this ‘shock and awe’ towards celebrities in the event that something ‘human’ like death, or cheating, or divorce or eating sandwiches becomes part of their existence (or non-existence if they had too much “fun” and died). As if celebrities have some kind of magic that keeps them above regular humans – they simply aren’t capable of the same level of life bullshit that we have to endure.

Seriously – I think we need to start spreading the word, and letting our friends and family know – celebrities are NOT bionic or in anyway above the ‘shitty shit’ that us minions are also exposed to. Celebrities are not immune from getting cancer, cheating on their partners, getting fat, or dying etc etc etc. I’m so sick of people being SHOCKED and BAFFLED STILL after Michael Jackson kicked the bucket. – “What how could he die – he’s the King of Pop, doesn’t that extend his life at ALL?” No he is STILL a human and treated his body poorly and then he died. And if you cried over MJ dying and you didn’t know him personally or weren’t related to him – I bet money that you’ve never lost anyone close to you. If you are crying over a man you’ve never known, I don’t think you know what it’s like to really lose. Yes – Michael Jackson did a lot for music and inspired people and artists – but guess what, the man hasn’t released an album in ten years. That music that inspires you and makes you wanna ‘dance it up when you are loserpissed at a wedding social – still exists after his death. Don’t worry “Thriller” will still be around for your children.

Or the aftermath of Tiger Woods? “What he has a dick and he fucked other women because when the man comes out of Chili’s the entire staff throws their pussies in his face and asks for a quick night of meaningless sex? HE SAID YES??? But he’s the greatest golfer who ever lived, doesn’t extremely high levels of skill in GOLF make you grow a giant conscious and doesn’t it cancel out your ‘skinny man’ complex that kept you a virgin til college?” NO it doesn’t, the man shits money and can lay a different hot woman every night – and I don’t think it’s right, I just don’t think it’s a SURPRISE.

 Corey Haim – no one gives a shit about this guy since he made one vampire movie in 1981, then he dies and now he’s important to EVERYONE. And the ‘mystery’ of his death MUST be known to the public, seems like people can’t sleep at night until they know how someone could die so young. People die young all the time, people that abuse drugs for their entire adult life – do die from that yes. Who cares if it was an overdose or if it wasn’t. His body gave out – he’s not MAGIC, he’s a person who didn’t take care of himself. He’s dead – sorry if you were tight with Corey Haim.

And now the latest – Sandra Bullock. Yes I know tragic. How could Jesse James former ‘bad boy married to a porn star’ cheat on the adorable Sandra Bullock – AND RIGHT AFTER SHE WON AND OSCAR – booo bad timing Jesse!! Okay this one kinda bothered me too – I admit, not because it was a surprise but because it seems like Sandra Bullock is the type of person who would never even say ‘fuck’ – but I’m sure she has. She’s not perfect and neither is Jesse – clearly. This shit does happen EVEN to couples you think are ‘in love’ based on photo ops and oscar winning speeches. No one knows what goes on in someone’s private relationship - so I just wish everyone would stop trying to CSI this shit and live their own relationship drama. I think certain women really need to open their eyes, Yes Sandra Bullock was cheated on, so was Uma Thurman, and Jennifer Anniston. It’s not about being this beautiful perfect looking concept that makes men not cheat. It doesn’t matter if you are Uma Thurman or if you have fake tits, the ‘perfect body’, or were recently in a billboard campaign for The Gap. Some men cheat and their reasons for doing so have nothing to do with how ‘gorgeous’ their wives are – being ‘celebrity beautiful’ doesn’t exempt a woman from being cheated on or divorced. These women in the spotlight are still women, no magic-no special non-cheating privileges apply. They can still lose a man or kill a man – just like any of us.

I can’t take it anymore – the stupidity is starting to make me have rage blackouts. So please help me spread the word to anyone who will listen, please let the world know: Celebrities are humans, not Magic!

Performing in Winnipeg Comedy Festival 2010

It’s official – I am excited and honoured to be part of the Winnipeg Comedy Festival this year.  It’s awesome to be part of the Fest  and this year with even more shows and performers,  it’s sure to be the biggest and baddest Wpg Comedy Fest ever!

I will be performing in the New Faces Night which is called “The Shock of the New” on Friday, April 9th @ 10:30 pm it will be hosted by Jon Dore with performances from Sam Easton, Chantel Marostica, Arthur Simeon, Jeremy Williamz, David Pryde, and Aaron Berg.

I gotta give props to the other comedians that will be performing this year in the fest, close friends of mine that have really helped me grow as a comedian and have built a supportive and strong community for me to be a part of: Keener, John B. Duff, Dan Robertson and of course my amazing boyfriend Ryan McMahon.

Will blog about this exciting news more – very soon. But first I must celebrate by FINALLY taking off my bathrobe, showering and being in public somewhere, somehow. For more info on the fest visit http://www.winnipegcomedyfestival.com/

-Lyts.

What’s coming up in 2010 for Cara Lytwyn Comedy

Hey everyone,

Sorry it’s been so long. Just wanted to give ya’ll some updates.

• I’m honoured to be performing in the Girls! Girls! Girls! Show again this year at the Gas Station Theatre on Sunday, March 14th. Get  your tickets fast this one sells out quickly. This year’s theme is rapture – I’m not really sure what that is, but I promise you I will be bringing my A game of comedy.
• My Jersey Shore nickname is “The Grenade”.
• Don’t miss February’s edition of Comedy Loser (Tuesday, Feb.9th at 9 pm Kingshead Pub) - Phil Cosgrove WILL be making a return appearance. That’s all I’m going to say.
• Stay tuned this week – I will be posting my Standup Comedy Demo.
• Check out my live dates section for constant updates and new shows, including the Cavern on Sundays at 9:30 pm – it’s a killer weekly show you won’t want to miss.

That’s it for now.

Peace out bitches and homies!

Santa’s Resignation Letter – December Comedy Loser

Santa’s Resignation.

My performance as Phil Cosgrove for the December Comedy Loser. Santa is quitting his job, he fucking hates it, click here and find out why and to hear my ‘mystery’ accent. Is it Minnesotan? Boston? Flin Flonnian? or all three?

Happy Holidays, Enjoy!

Interview with Flin Flon Reminder

Hello Folks,

Sorry I’ve been out of commission for awhile. My Pancreatitis has been making me hungry, grumpy and unable to blog. It’s not infected, it’s inflammed, which means my pancreas is angry and racist. My pancreas hates Jews. I don’t! But my horrible  pancreas has some serious issues. My Pancreas is Emo – okay there I said it. My Pancreas is insisting I paint my fingernails black and start hating everyone’s Dad.

Okay I’ve been promising to get this up for awhile now. It’s my ‘comedy profile’ in the Flin Flon Reminder – I’m proud of this article, Flin Flon is where I’m from and has helped make me who I am today. It was really exciting to be a part of this newspaper – and to have friends and family be able to read about what I’ve been doing in the Winnipeg Comedy Scene. I think Jonathon Naylor is an excellent writer – it’s one of the best pieces written about me. He was awesome at really capturing my voice and telling my story. Hope you enjoy - here is the attached PDF copy of that article.

Reminder Interview

PS I will be performing at The Standard Tavern this Thursday (Dec.15) at 8:30 pm for the Best of Show. Going to be delightful! Then you can catch me performing at the Finals for Winnipeg’s Funniest Person with a Day Job Contest at Rumor’s on Jan.11th. (That’s a Monday). Not in the contest – they don’t allow you to compete after you’ve won, but I am doing a set while the judges deliberate.

Happy Holidays! Don’t get so loserpissed that you puke up Christmas Dinner!

Peace.

Cara

Winnipeg’s One to Watch – Uptown Magazine

I’m excited to announce this week I am the “One to Watch” (that sounds creepy). Well beyond anyone that’s already been ‘watching’ me – I’m the featured One to Watch in this week’s Uptown Magazine. Pick up a free copy or check out the article online here: http://www.uptownmag.com/2009-11-12/page4851.aspx

Also recieved a nice mention by this blogger http://www.winnipegfirst.ca/article/2009/11/03/rumors_has_it_comedy_can_be_your_new_day_job

I’m performing tonight at the Standard Tavern – 8:30 $5 (Get there early, this show fills up fast).

-Cara

I have a Hater – and I made a video just for him!

So everyone was very supportive with my recent win at Winnipeg’s Wackiest Comedian Contest. Of course there is always one hater in the bunch. He wasn’t a finalist, he was just ‘a guy’ who sat around complaining about wanting time and asking if anyone felt sick, so he could get on stage. After I had won he proceeded to walk around bitching to other comedians that I had stolen my entire routine from Sarah Silverman. It’s too bad he didn’t actually listen to my set, which as many people know deals with my experiences growing up in Flin Flon. But maybe Sarah Silverman grew up there too. There was A Jewish family in Flin Flon, I don’t know – could have been the Silvermans. I think that the only similarities between our material is that we sometimes say ‘Fuck’ and we both have vaginas. But all female comedians are the same right?

He even went as far as to post his comments on this Free Press article, followed by my response. “There was clearly a crowd favorite and it wasn’t Cara Lytwyn.” Spelled favourite without the ‘u’, fucking moron.

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/amateur-comics-stifle-their-jitters-vie-for-trophy-63954997.html

Anyways no hard feelings, everyone is entitled to their bullshit uninformed opinions. And so I made this video just for him. “Jonas” I emailed it to him, I hope he likes it. Here it is:

Finally I have a lot of performances this week if you’d like to check out:

Monday, October 26, 8 pm, Kingshead – Headlining Red River College’s Comedy Night (always a fun time but get there early)

Tuesday, October 27, 9 pm, Kingshead – Shitz and Gigglez Standup (I will be trying out some new material ooooh ya!)

Wednesday, October 28 – nap

Thursday, October 29, 7:30 pm, mybar Canad Inns – Safeway Breast Cancer Fundraiser

Thursday, October 29, 9 pm, Saffron’s (on Corydon) – New Comedy Night (also performing Keener, Ryan McMahon, John B. Duff)

Hope to see you out – Support Winnipeg Comedy!

Laugh Loud.

Cara.

Lytwyn Wyns Winnipeg’s Wackiest Comedian

It’s been an exciting couple of days in the aftermath of winning Winnipeg’s Wackiest Comedian Contest including my small hometown of Flin Flon making an announcement on our radio station CFAR 590, to the front page of the Winnipeg Free Press, and an interview on APTN National News tomorrow (October 14) at 7pm in Winnipeg. The support and love from friends and family has been very moving. And although I would give anything for my Dad to be here and share this excitement with him, and hear about his ‘bragging’  around Flin Flon as he picks up groceries, I know he is watching down on me and feels proud of his daughter.

Saturday night was the finals for Winnipeg’s Wackiest Comedian, a brand new contest created by the Winnipeg Free Press, Hot 103, and the Canad Inns. It was an exciting night with a lot of incredible talent, for a cause that is close to my heart. I felt very honoured to be a part of an event, which was an amazing opportunity to perform in front of a very energetic crowd and the chance to be critiqued ‘American Idol’ style by Brad Oswald, Ace Burpee, and Big Daddy Tazz. Just to have their feedback alone – made the experiance worth while.

Ace said at one point he actually looked over at Big Daddy Tazz and they both shared the moment of “Did she really just say she may have fucked a Subway sandwich.” haha it was a moment I won’t forget. He then went on to say how sometimes it can be a pussy move when comedians come on stage and discuss how great their kids are – an easy applause, and what a huge risk it is when I come on stage and talk about how  much I hate children and want to kick them etc. But it paid off – it’s funny and I sell it well.  Tazz mentioned that he has watched a lot of amateur female comedy and they often talk about the same female topics, and it was refreshing and original to hear my act which doesn’t touch on any of those topics. I even heard my little brother yell out, “Yes exactly!” Tazz said I’m going places – and after 3 years, that felt good to hear.

Everyone that knows me – knows my feelings about female standups that stereotype themselves into writing only about their need for a man, their periods, having a lot of cats – and my disdain for this redundant train of thought. I’m sick of females being the minority in comedy and enforcing the stereotype that we just can’t be as funny as men – I want women to realize they can write about ANYTHING, *this includes anything men can write about.

I was excited just to be in the finals for the contest, when I was announced as the winner- I was speechless. I actually covered my mouth on stage. It was a surreal moment and I thought back to the time I considered quitting because I couldn’t overcome my nervousness, I thought about all the late night writing marathons, and open mic nights that I put my heart into – and I have to admit, the win felt amazing. And again being the first woman to win Winnipeg’s Funniest Person with a Day Job as the 1 girl in the 9 finalists, and now the 1 of 2 girls in the 10 finalists – I’ve really learned that it comes down to being funny – no matter what sex you are, where you come from, – it’s not about the odds, it’s about the funny.

I also have learned that you have to be true to yourself and to your writing. I thought about changing my set, thought about what the judges would want and that maybe I should remove some of my more risky material such as about waking up in bed with a sandwich, wanting a mustache ride for my birthday, or wanting my kids to know that I will ‘love them forever unless they fuck with my car.’ In the end, with the support of my amazing boyfriend Ryan, and my friends and family – I just believed in myself and in my writing and I did it the way I wanted to – I performed the material I think is funny and I didn’t worry about anything else. Winning being true to yourself is really winning. (that was on an Episode of Degrassi Junior High).I thank everyone for their continued support in my endeavour to make people laugh.

Cheers,

Lytwyn.

Winnipeg’s Wackiest Comedian Contest (and other announcements)

I just wanted to thank everyone who voted for me in the Winnipeg’s Wackiest Comedian Contest-you are the reason I have made it into the finals! The top ten performers will take the stage this Saturday (October 10th) at mybar Canad Inns-8 pm. For a details on purchasing tickets and a complete list of the finalists visit: http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/ace/gone-wacky/

I am part of the Comedy Loser cast again this year for Season 3 and I am very excited for the launch on Tuesday, October 13th 9 pm at the Kingshead Pub.  Untested, solo and non-standup comedy- which includes video, monologues, characters, powerpoint, music and more. Please come out and see how awesome this show is,  for more info visit: www.comedyloser.com

Monday, October 29th – I will be headling the Red River College Comedy night at the kingshead-show starts at 8 pm. (Get there early as this show is always packed). This is the second of 2 shows for RRC Comedy, the other is Monday, October 16 and is headlined by my good friend Dan Verville. This is a fun night and a great chance to see new talent. I was asked to speak to the RRC Comedy class this year – give them some ‘tips’ and tell them about some of my experiances in comedy http://kentonsinfotainmentscan.blogspot.com/2009/09/creating-comedy-with-cara-lytwyn.html#links

Oh and if you are thinking of growing a mustache – think again.

Peace,

-Lytwyn